There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
