i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Im part way to drunk.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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