Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
