Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
