He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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