omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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