If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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