I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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