I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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