I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
