He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
