Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
