i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
