Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
