I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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