Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
