Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pappa wants mamma naked
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
