she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
