Will you blow on my dice?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
