guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
