idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
