the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
