she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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