Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
