So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
