awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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