It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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