What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
