I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So vagazzling was a success
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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