she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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