so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
