who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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