I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
