He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Randomize
