Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm at about main and main street
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
