she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
