I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
