Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
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