i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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