I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize