tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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