so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
These tits shall not be calmed
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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