I bet he comes in French.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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