After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's official drugs can't kill me
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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