Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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