Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
