Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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