And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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