if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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