i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
